wow....its been a while

It is hard for me to comprehend that my youngest son is about to turn one this month. They say that it takes about a year to really recover from your pregnancy and childbirth...well I never experienced that with Charlie because by the time he was 6 months old I was pregnant with Sean. I would not go back and change that now because I cannot imagine our lives without Sean. However, there is something to be said for giving yourself a break between children. The first year is filled with so much joy and lets be honest...so much work. It is hard to do it with one child let alone with a toddler hanging on your leg wondering when you will stop breastfeeding long enough to take him outside to play. It is a whirlwind of feedings, diapers, crying, comforting, laughing, playing, cooking, cleaning, reconnecting with your hubby, trying to find your social life and spontaneity...while wondering why you are back to your pre-baby weight but you look different in the mirror. Then you reach that one year milestone and you really do feel better. You feel as if you are on the other side of whatever I just said. You are done with bottles, the poop is down to once or twice a day, they are crawling or walking and starting to express themselves in words and you think I might just find my way back to sanity after all. Today was one of those glorious days when everybody is happy...there is just the right amount of sunshine and humidity...things were accomplished without the sacrifice of attention to my family and at the end of the day I get that overwhelming feeling that I am undeservedly blessed. I know this sounds crazy but I watch a Baby Story on TLC and find myself crying at the delivery and thinking how amazing human existence is and it makes me want to dive into the craziness all over again...thankfully my brain can reason with my heart and I know it is best to wait a while longer. I have to remind myself not to take for granted that I have two healthy children and that I am able to stay home full time and invest my all into them. I can get caught up in the hard stuff and forget that God chose me to be their mother and allowed me to have them as a blessing in my life.